Cartoon courtesy of Peter Cowling-pretend that's me in the chair
Grim, grim, grim. I feel as though I've injested the pharmacy over the weekend. I know nothing of root canal work, nerve extraction and the like. La dentista tells me my 'Nerve is very sick' I assume it's inflamed and hypersensitive. I've been writhing around on the chair for an an hour as she makes repeated attempts to remove the two week old amalgam filling I had done before we left England.
She's injected enough local anaesthetic to remove a tusk, and she informs me that there are not one, but two cracks in the tooth. The options are to crown it or extract it. What a terrible choice. I look in the mirror and decide I like my molar. I don't want to lose it. Eventually I make the expensive decision to keep the tooth. Our dental extravaganza will set us back £925, a big dent out of our USA and Mexico trip.
The nurse brings me another tablet as I wait to go back to the torturer's chair. She tells me its a painkiller but I suspect its some sort of anti anxiety medication. I accept gratefully and soon, I'm back.
Then I overhear La Dentista utter 'Melodramatica' in her converstaion. That I do understand but am in no position to defend myself. How dare she? I'm British, not a race known for this trait. I had a gastroscopy once, without sedation just so I could tell patients what to expect from their procedure. Does that sound like the sort of thing a melodramatic person would do?
Finally the sick nerves are out, she fetches the temporary crown and promptly drops it down the back of my throat. Using my tongue I help propel it back within her grasp, she applies it and it's too big. Much too high for my bite. She removes it and puts it back 3 times, but it doesn't feel any different. I don't care, I'm done for now and a liquid diet will help reduce my waistline.
I realise it's lunchtime as I leave with 2 further appointments. I'd been in there for 4 hours. I suspect they didn't have the correct size crown in stock and were keen to have a break from me. I have 27 years work experience in a healthcare environment, I understand. But 'melodramatica' I may never be able to forgive or forget.
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